


Call and Answer

by der_tanzer



Category: Riptide (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-20
Updated: 2010-05-20
Packaged: 2017-10-09 14:53:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/der_tanzer/pseuds/der_tanzer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick courts disaster and can't find his way home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call and Answer

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for angst and hints of possible dub-can.  
> For pier56 Challenge 3 Author's Choice of Song or Lyric: Every line in this song could apply to this story but the one that actually inspired it is: _If you call, I will answer and if you fall, I'll pick you up, and if you court this disaster, I'll point you home._~The Barenaked Ladies

_September_  
Nick sat alone in the belly of his big pink chopper, surrounded by everything he owned in suitcases and cardboard boxes. There was no question, this had been the worst summer of his life and he had no one to blame but himself. He didn't have a soul in the world to turn to and nowhere to call home. How in the world had that happened? How had he gone from having everything he wanted in life to having nothing? He lay down on the floor, staring wistfully at a photo propped against a box, and tried to remember. _Cathy._ But blaming her was too easy. It was before that. _Cody._ Yes, Cody. But not his fault, either.

_March_  
"You're having dinner with Cathy again?" Cody was perplexed, looking up from the brightwork, squinting into the sun. "Isn't the case over? Her check didn't bounce, did it?"

Murray paused, leaning with one hand against the hull where he'd been washing the deadlights, and called up to them.

"Her check cleared yesterday, Nick. It's all taken care of."

"Thanks, Boz. But I wasn't worried about that. She asked and she's a nice girl. I didn't want to disappoint her."

Cody sat back on his heels and Murray climbed aboard, all of them automatically lowering their voices.

"You think it's better to lead her on and disappoint her later? What are you going to do, tell her when you get back to her place?"

"No, I just—I don't know. I want to have dinner with her. Is that a crime?"

"No, not technically," Murray said, trying to smile. His heart was racing and when he looked at Cody he saw the same fear that he felt reflected in the light blue eyes.

"Look, it's no big deal. It's dinner, a meal, that's all. I'll tell her tonight that I can't see her anymore, okay?"

"Why didn't you tell her that this morning?" Cody asked evenly.

"Because I want to have dinner with her. Didn't I just say that?"

"Nick, I don't understand," Murray said quietly. "Aren't you—aren't you happy here? With us?"

"Of course I'm happy," he snapped, sounding anything but. "Can't a guy have dinner with a friend without it turning into a huge fucking deal?"

Cody and Murray exchanged a look, one of the few that Nick had ever been on the outside of, and then shrugged in unison.

"Fine, Nick, you do whatever you want. Boz, you about done with those deadlights?"

"Yeah. I'll be ready to do the other side as soon as you have the harness rigged." For the port side Cody was going to suspend him over the rail. Last time they'd made the _Ebb Tide_ fast against it for him to stand in but a hotdog in a jetboat had kicked too much wake and spilled him out. Murray climbed down to the pier and returned to his work while Cody went below to make up a sling harness from heavy line. Nick was left alone on deck and after a while he went inside to get ready.

Later he would have that to remember as the last semi-civil conversation he'd ever had with his two best friends and lovers. When he left, Murray was hanging off the port bow washing deadlights while Cody leaned against the rail, explaining the origins of the word and how they were different from _port_lights, though both were port_holes_. Murray sounded fascinated, and though Nick said goodbye, neither answered him.

***

It was after one when he came home, hoping to slip aboard in darkness and get into bed while they were sleeping. If he could do that, lie down in their unconscious warmth, feel Murray's thin, trusting body move into his arms without waking, he could forget Cathy and everything that had happened tonight. He could go back and make it right and they would never have to know. Nick would do anything to avoid hurting them. At least he would _now_. If he'd thought that way this morning, when she'd first called, he could have saved a lot of trouble.

Nick let himself in through the wheelhouse and tiptoed down to the dark salon. For a few seconds he thought he'd made it and then a lamp clicked on. Cody was sitting upright behind the drop leaf table, Murray beside him, napping with his head on folded arms. The light roused him and he sat up, rubbing sleepy eyes. Nick's heart smote him and more than anything he wanted to fold them in his arms and tell them how sorry he was. But not what he was sorry for. He couldn't face that.

"Have a good time?" Cody asked and Nick's heart stopped. He knew. Murray was putting on his glasses and when Nick saw his eyes it was there, too. They both knew. He ran his hand over his mouth, confirming both the guilt and its source, and Murray's lips quivered just a little.

"Guys, can we just go to bed and, I don't know, talk about this tomorrow?"

"No. I want to hear about your date, Nick." Cody glanced over at Murray, his eyes softening in an invitation for the emotionally fragile man to skip this confrontation, and Murray's back straightened in response. He wanted to hear about it, too.

"It was just dinner," Nick said, looked at his feet.

"Until one fifteen? I didn't know even _you_ could eat for that long. But I guess that depends on what you're eating. Doesn't it, Nick?"

"I don't want to do this, Cody, and I don't think you do, either. Can't we talk about it in the morning?"

"It _is_ morning," he shouted, leaping to his feet. "That's the _point_. You went out to _dinner_ with some woman and didn't come home until _morning_. And don't tell me you were talking. I've lived with you for ten years; you're not that good a conversationalist."

"Cody, please…"

"Let's cut to the chase," Murray said quietly, his soft voice somehow more frightening than Cody's shout. "Did you sleep with her, Nick?"

His eyes fell to his shoes again and Murray groaned as if he'd been hit.

"Are you _kidding_?" Cody yelled, as if he hadn't known. "You went out and fucked that woman and now you're here, thinking you can forget it and just go to bed? Is that what you think?"

"Lower your voice," Nick said, pained. "You want to wake the entire pier?"

"_Fuck_ the entire pier. Or did you already do that?"

Murray groaned again, clapped his hand over his mouth and lunged to his feet. Cody reached for him but he slipped past, stumbled down the aft staircase and into the head. They both heard him retching miserably and Nick could have cried.

"It didn't mean anything," he said uselessly. "She—I drove her home and she—she invited me in and I didn't—I didn't know how to say no."

"Bullshit. You wanted to and you did, like you always do. You want something and you take it. Like you wanted Murray. You got him into this and now you're—you're cheating on him."

"Cheating on _us_," Murray said quietly, coming up again. His dark eyes were wet with tears but oddly cold, his thin face drawn in tight.

"Yeah, us. I thought you were happy, Nick. I thought you—well, that you—"

"Loved us," Murray finished, moving protectively between them.

"I do. More than anything."

"So why? Why'd you do it, knowing how we felt?"

"I don't know, Boz. I—I guess I needed to be sure. I'm getting old, guys. I'm almost middle aged and—"

"And you needed to make sure there wasn't anything better out there?" Cody asked bitterly.

"No. I knew…I just…"

"I don't care. Get off my boat, Nick. You like that girl so much that you'd betray us for her then you'd better go be with her."

"No," he cried, his eyes going instinctively to Murray, who had always been their peacemaker. But Murray stepped closer to Cody and bowed his head against the strong shoulder. "I don't want to go. I—I came back to you. I want to be here. I was never going to see her again."

"Did you tell her that?" Cody asked and for a second there seemed to be hope.

"I'm going to, first thing in the morning. I was going to call her and tell her it was over…" he trailed off, seeing that his words weren't having the desired effect.

"You were going to call her? You didn't just say it's been fun on your way out the door?"

"Well, no, that would have been unnecessarily cruel, wouldn't it?"

Murray laughed sharply and that was when he knew it was over.

"That's good Nick. Be kind to the girl you don't care about and bring the cruelty home to us. That sounds right to you?" Cody's eyes had gone as cold as Murray's, offering no hope of refuge.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just—it was a mistake and I didn't mean for you to ever find out. I wasn't ever going to say anything and you wouldn't have been hurt."

"That's not true," Murray said softly. "We just wouldn't have known _why_ we were hurt."

"He's right, Nick. You think a thing like that just goes away? That we'd never notice the difference? No, don't answer. Just pack your shit and get off my boat."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. Right now. Murray, do you still have those collapsed boxes in your locker?"

"Yeah, I'll go get them." He went forward toward the computer room where he used to live and started dragging things out of the hanging locker. There were also boxes full of random things and he dumped them out, sorting Nick's stuff back into them before carrying them up. He and Cody could get more boxes and clean up later.

Nick stared at them in disbelief, refusing to move until Cody shoved him toward the aft stairs, and very nearly down them. He took his boxes below and began to pack, still thinking his friends would change their minds. If they'd just come down to help he could talk to them, make them understand. Maybe Cody would take a swing at him and work out his anger. Nick felt like a broken nose would be a good start. But the two men he loved more than anything stayed in the salon, and the only sound was Murray's quiet sobbing.

No one spoke to Nick as he carried his boxes and suitcases out onto the pier. It took him three trips in the 'Vette to get all his things over to the Mimi and no one spoke to him all that time. Neighbors, woken by the disturbance, saw him go without much surprise. The peculiar relationship that existed on board the Riptide was ostensibly a secret, but it had gone on so long that the permanent residents of the pier were all aware. It wasn't as if they bothered anyone. They didn't shove it in people's faces, they weren't offensive and they were good neighbors. But no one really believed a threesome could exist indefinitely without jealously tearing it apart. The only real question was which one would leave. Smart money had always been on Murray, the last to arrive and the one who fit in least, but smart money was often wrong.

Nick slept in the Mimi that night and called Cathy in the morning. Cody and Murray didn't sleep at all.  
***

On board the Riptide, things gradually got back to normal. Eventually the big bed came to feel less empty and the radio kept the boat from getting too quiet. Murray went to the target range every day and practiced until he could shoot as well as Cody. Once he began to look at it as a science, as he did computers and seamanship, it was easy. They got new business cards and gave Cathy's phone number to anyone who called for Nick. The Riptide Detective Agency went on solving cases and their friends stopped asking when Nick was coming back.

Cathy never knew that she was the cause of Nick's troubles. She was happy to date him and, when she learned that he was sleeping in his helicopter at the local airport, invited him to live with her. He pretended it was what he wanted, the woman, the little house, the job flying harbor tours. Pretended that he hadn't given all that up years ago for something better. Pretended this wasn't a huge step backward. Once, he was flying a group out over the ocean and he saw the Riptide at anchor, his old friends on the fantail with fishing rods in their hands. Unable to resist, he dipped low over their heads, but the two men on the boat, recognizing the unique roar of Mimi's engine, never looked up.

***

_July_

"I don't know what's the matter with you, Nick. You're the one who wanted this. You asked to move in with me, remember?"

"No, I didn't. You invited me when you found out I was living at the airport."

"Sometimes I wish I hadn't. You're so moody all the time, you won't talk to me. I don't even know what we're doing."

"You said you were in love with me."

"And you said you were in love with me, but you're not. Are you?" She picked up a framed photo from the dresser and waved it in his face. "This is what you want and I can't understand why."

He took the picture from her, studying it for a second as if he didn't know every inch of it by heart, and laid it aside. It showed him on the deck of the Riptide, his arm around Murray, and Cody on the other side so they flanked the skinny man protectively. They were all smiling, not knowing there was anything they needed protecting from, let alone that it was on the deck with them. The picture stared up at him accusingly and he looked away.

"I don't know why you can't live with me and be friends with them," she went on. "And if they won't let you, then they aren't very good friends, are they? Why do you care so much about people who wrote you off for falling in love?"

Because I'm in love with them, he thought. Because they loved me and I betrayed them with you and you aren't worth it. That was the part that was hardest to admit. She was the kind of girl you slept with once or twice and forgot about. But somehow he'd lost everything he cared about because of her and now he was stuck. He couldn't afford to leave and every day he hated her just a little bit more.

"We were friends for a long time," he said weakly. "They were counting on me and I let them down. It's not their fault."

"I wish you'd just let it go. You have new friends at work, right?"

"What, those other losers who hang around the airport waiting for tours? They aren't my friends _or_ coworkers."

"Well, you have me. If it's the boat you miss, we can always go sailing on the weekends."

"I get seasick," he said automatically. It was even true. He'd been on Dramamine ever since he'd moved onto the Riptide but Cody didn't know it. "Just forget it, baby. I'm sorry, just forget it."

"That's better. I love you, Nicky."

"Love you, too," he murmured. He hated being called Nicky but he never told her, like he never told Cody he got seasick. But this wasn't a good secret and he kept it for all the wrong reasons.

***

Murray was moaning in his sleep, twitching in that way that meant he was gearing up to thrash. Cody woke just in time to take a bony forearm across the bridge of the nose and his startled cry caused Murray to leap awake screaming.

"Hey, hey, Boz," Cody said gently, pulling the shivering man into his arms. "It's okay, it was just a dream."

"No it wasn't. It was real and it's still happening," Murray sighed. "I'm sorry I woke you, though. Is your nose okay?"

"Yeah, it's not even broken. And, Murray, you still have me, right?" It sounded reassuring but Murray knew him well enough to hear the buried meaning. I'm enough, right? You won't leave me, too, will you? Murray kissed him into silence, soothing the insecurity that, though unvoiced, was even worse than his own. Cody's was the pain of one more loss on top of too many others, while Murray's was the pain of losing what he'd wanted all his life and never expected to have. Somehow his life's disappointments hadn't hardened him, as Cody's had, and he was still soft enough to keep loving in the face of this disaster.

He cupped Cody's cheek in his palm, kissing him slow and deep, filling him with love. He felt the draining of tension, the growing of hope, and suddenly Cody was pushing him down, pulling off his pajamas. Murray was used to this; it was what kept them together when Cody's closely guarded pain threatened to tear them apart. He bit down on his arm as the bigger man pushed into him, twisting his moans to sounds of pleasure. It hurt terribly at first, in spite of Cody's generosity with the lubricant, but Murray enjoyed that, too. Cody's teeth sank into his shoulder and they cried out together, the sound muffled in both cases by Murray's flesh. Always Murray welcomed the pain, hoping Cody would hurt less if Murray hurt for him. And past the pain and the sorrow was always pleasure. Always love. Murray gave it first and then Cody, his sore heart patched and refilled once more, gave it back.

Murray was moaning soft encouragement, his slight body rocking with the swell of the waves, setting a rhythm that made Cody fly. The loves of his life were this man and the sea and when they worked together like this, his pleasure knew no bounds. Cody was nearly in tears when he came, thrusting hard and biting harder, using all his strength to show his joy. But as soon as he was finished, his attention returned to the sweet, patient man beneath him.

He withdrew carefully, cleaned up as much as he could and turned Murray onto his back. The soft, unfocused eyes were bright with tears and a peculiar pleasure that stirred Cody's guts. He kissed the tender mouth, running gentle hands down ribs grown more prominent over the last few months, and let his fingers graze the throbbing erection he had caused. Cody thought, as he often did, that love cured pain for him, but for Murray love and pain seemed to be the same thing. Maybe that was why he was holding up and Cody, who expected love to shield him from pain, had to be held up so often.

He teased and tickled, running his hand over flaring hipbones and slender thighs, before finally gripping Murray's cock. Murray gasped against his mouth and Cody kissed him harder, ravaging him with his tongue as he squeezed and stroked. He did that with the same force and power that he brought to all his activities and Murray writhed with pleasure. When the kiss was broken he gave a small cry of disappointment and then the hot mouth was closing around the head of his cock. Cody's hands were on his testicles, stroking his stomach and thighs, feeling him all over as he ran his tongue up and down the pulsing shaft. Murray buried his hands in the soft blond hair and thrust against him, moaning low and continuously. Cody was enormously talented, knowing just where to press his tongue, when and how to use his teeth and precisely how long he could go on before Murray came, softly crying his name. Tonight he was tired so he brought his lover to a frenzy as soon as good manners allowed and finished him quickly, but no less thoroughly for it. Murray bit his arm again but Cody still made out the sound of his name. Tenderly, he kissed his way up the trembling body and held him close.

"Can you sleep now, Boz?" he whispered. Murray laid his head on the broad shoulder and sighed.

"I'm okay. I love you, Cody."

"I know, babe. I love you, too."

Across town, two miles and several light years away, Nick Ryder lay awake beside a woman he couldn't stand and wondered if his old friends ever thought of him. Sometimes he called them and hung up when one of them answered, just to make sure they were both there. It was childish and stupid and cruel, but the times he heard Cody say hello, hushing Murray's excited chatter in the background at the same time, were what got him through his days. He'd left them but he couldn't let them go. Lying here in the dark with this awful woman, he wanted nothing more than to sneak back on board the Riptide while they slept and try to explain in the morning. If he could have just one more chance, he'd never hurt them again.

***

_August_

"Nick, this isn't working. You're not happy, I'm not happy. Things need to change."

"Yeah? Did you have something in mind?" he asked without much interest.

"I thought maybe we'd talk about it."

"Yeah? Because in my experience, women never say they want to talk unless they already know what they're going to do. It's usually only men who are stupid enough to bring up a subject without knowing how it's going to end."

"You're an expert on that, aren't you?" she asked evenly.

"What's that mean?"

"It means I asked around, Nick. I might be dumb but I'm not completely stupid. I know what was really going on with you and your _friends_." She put so much venom into the last word that it might have been a curse.

"Cathy, don't."

"Don't what? What is there for me to do? You never loved me, did you? That's why you spend all your time sitting in your helicopter, mooning over pictures."

"What do you want me to say, Cathy? That I don't miss them?"

"You're not even going to deny it?"

"Deny what? I'm not even sure what you're saying."

"I'm saying that you're in love with Cody, or Murray, or both, and you're just using me for some sick reason."

"Okay, that I will deny. Not that I love them, because I do. But I ruined it. They threw me out and you took me in. _You_ issued the invitation, remember, and while I might have been using you, it wasn't sick."

"Yes it _was_," she shouted, grabbing the nearest thing to hand, a heavy glass ashtray, and winging it at his head. He ducked and the ashtray smashed against the wall. "You've been with _men_. That's _sick_."

"Get serious, Cathy. It's the eighties," he said, not bothering to raise his voice.

"I don't care what decade it is, I want you out of my house. Go sleep in your helicopter or go back to your _friends_, I don't care, but you're not spending one more night in my house."

"Fine," he said simply and went to pack. It was starting to feel familiar.

***

_September_

Two weeks later, lying in his chopper, staring at a photo, he knew it was the end. He was out of money, no one wanted to fly with him as long as he was living in his chopper, and there were only two options left, life and death. Life was in the harbor, on a fifty-four foot yacht with the two finest men he knew, and death was wherever he could find it. Right now it felt very close, all around him, waiting impatiently for him to decide. It was in Mimi, who had always kept him safe but could just as easily snuff him out. More easily, really, since helicopters were much easier to crash than they were to fly. Death was also in the harbor where he could drown happily near his true home, but that was unkind. They shouldn't have to see it. He had no right to hurt them anymore. But Nick was, under it all, a reasonable man. He knew that it was best to choose life first, because death would still be there, waiting. It was a hungry beast, ever ready for a meal. But life was not so patient and hated to be second choice.

It was the middle of the night, but Nick slid the cargo door open and dropped to the ground. There was a phone booth over by the terminal, and he dialed the number for what he hoped to be the last time. It rang and rang, making him wonder if they were out, if they were okay, if they were maybe making love and didn't care, and then he heard Murray's voice, sleepy and scared.

"Hello, Riptide Detective Agency, where all fees are doubled after midnight."

"Hey, M-Murray. It's Nick. Don't hang up, please." He heard a sharp gasp, followed by a silence so long it made him wonder if they'd been cut off. Then, finally, Murray answered.

"It's late, Nick. What do you want?" He spoke in a whisper that made Nick think that Cody was either sleeping or had forbidden Murray to speak to him. Both made him feel gut wrenching homesickness.

"I know," he said, his teeth chattering though it wasn't cold. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. Maybe it's too late for that, I don't know, but—I've come to the end of me. I—I need to come home if I can. If you'll have me. I—I really need you guys."

"I don't know," Murray said but the regret in his voice gave Nick hope. "It's not just up to me."

"I know that. But will you see me? Can I come over and talk, at least? Please, Boz."

"Yeah, sure, Nick. I'll talk to you."

"Thank you. I know I don't deserve it, I just had to try before…"

"Before what?"

"Nothing. Never mind, just tell me when to be there."

"We'll be home in the morning between nine and eleven."

"Okay, Murray, thanks. And I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

There was a click as the receiver was placed gently in its cradle and Nick sagged against the wall. After a long time he hung up and trudged back to the Mimi. At least they would let him say goodbye.

***

Nick showed up at five after nine, having waited as long as he could stand to. Murray was on deck washing the salon windows, an eerie reminder of the last time he'd been here. He thought of the deadlights and shuddered, the word itself feeling like an omen. If only he'd seen that then.

"Hi Nick," he called down, with none of his old enthusiasm. "Come aboard. You remember the way."

"Yeah, hi, Murray. Where's Cody?"

"He's inside. He's not sure he wants to see you yet."

"He's not—but you said…"

"I said _I'd_ talk to you. Honestly, what did you expect?" Murray put down his squeegee and wiped his hand across his brow. As Nick got closer he saw that the other man was thinner than before, his eyes tired and drained of their former cheerful geekiness.

"I don't know. I—I couldn't make it with Cathy. I never wanted to be with her, I never wanted to leave you guys, and she figured it out. She said she 'asked around', whatever that means."

"It means she was down here talking to all of our neighbors, asking questions about our personal lives. There's been more talk about us the last two weeks than there ever was when you lived here. Cody's talking about moving to some new port city where no one knows us."

"Ah fuck," he sighed. "I'm so sorry. If I'd known she was going to do that, I'd have—I don't know, I'd have stopped her somehow. Murray, I wish I could explain this. I wish it had an explanation."

"If it doesn't, then why are you here? You've been gone without a word for months. Why now?"

"I don't know. I figured you'd be better off without me. I didn't want to hurt you anymore."

"So why now? Why is it okay to hurt us now?"

"It's not. I just—I don't have anything else. I don't want anything else. I knew that all along, I just screwed up. I guess I'm hoping that I've been punished enough."

Murray sat down on the deck and took off his glasses to rub his eyes.

"No one wanted to punish you," he said quietly. "It wasn't about that. You broke our trust, Nick. We put all our faith in you and you betrayed us. Don't you see that?"

"Yes. Yes, I do. And I understand if you can't forgive me. I just had to try, that's all. I love you both too much to not try."

"After six months? It took you six months to decide that you couldn't live without us?"

"Yeah. I thought I could live and just not enjoy it, leave you in peace and be miserable by myself, but I can't. I literally can't live without you guys and I couldn't—I couldn't quit without trying just once."

The look on Murray's face, once so cheerful and open, cut him to the core. If he had to die he'd get as far away from here as he could, somewhere they'd never have to hear about it. In fact, he probably should have done that already. But suicide was a hard choice for a man who had survived a war. Always he had to try life.

"You're going to kill yourself?" he asked curiously.

"I'm not going to lay that on you. Just tell me to go and I'll go."

"Cody did that already, and yet you're back."

"Yeah, Nick, why is that?" Cody asked, stepping out the salon door.

"I—I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm going to be leaving town, I guess, and I wanted to—well, I didn't want to go without telling you how sorry I am. I never wanted to hurt you, either of you. I was worried about the future, stupid shit that I can hardly remember now, and I let that girl get under my skin. But I swear, if you hadn't waited up and caught me, it would have ended right there. I never would have seen her again."

"But you went and lived with her when you left."

"When you threw me out. I didn't have anywhere else to go and besides, it didn't matter. If I can't be with you I don't care where I am. Maybe you think I was over there partying and getting laid, but all we did was fight. I couldn't even get it up for her more than a couple times; that's mostly what we fought about. Cody, I'll go if you say go but I really don't want to."

"No? You want to stay here?" He and Murray traded another of those looks that Nick couldn't read and suddenly he felt like the little match girl, sitting out in the snow, watching a Christmas party through a stranger's window. "For how long, Nick? Until you start feeling trapped again? Start noticing pretty blonds and wondering what else life has to offer?"

"Cody, I know what life has to offer. I saw it and it's no good. Please, I know that now."

"And you didn't before? Because you know what, Nick? I knew that ten years ago. I never doubted it and, until you went off and nailed that girl, I never thought you did, either."

"Cody, I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen and if you for some reason decided to give me another chance, it wouldn't happen again."

"That's what you want, Nick?" Cody asked calmly. "Another chance? You want to come back into our lives and our bed, sew our hearts up again, and see what happens? Is that it?"

"I—yeah, I guess it is. You'd have to trust me a lot and I know I don't deserve it, but I'm promising you both now that it won't happen again. I won't leave you, I won't betray you, ever again."

Again there was a look exchanged, and then Murray spoke.

"Okay. Get your stuff and come home."

"Really?" he asked, studying Cody's face closely for confirmation.

"Yeah. You know, you could have asked a long time ago, instead of just calling once a week and hanging up."

"You knew it was me?"

"Of course we did, you moron. We knew you wouldn't just disappear. Last night, when the phone rang, I told Murray it was you."

"Yes, that's right. He did."

"And you answered anyway?"

"Of course I did. I love you. That never changed."

"What about you, Cody? You knew it was me and you sent Murray to answer the phone."

"I got it the last time. It was his turn. Come on, let's go inside." He turned to Murray and added, "You've been out here too long anyway, babe. Geeks burn, remember?" He took Murray's hand and pulled him to his feet. Nick saw then that his little friend was pale and trembling, that he was having trouble keeping his balance though the deck was almost still. He followed them inside, wondering, not for the first time, how much damage he'd really done.

"You want some coffee?" Cody asked and he shook his head, looking around the salon as if he'd never seen it before. "Have a seat, Nick, you know where everything is."

"I don't know where _I_ am," he whispered, sitting down on the vinyl couch.

Murray sat beside him, laid a bony hand on his arm and said, "You're home."


End file.
